Thursday 16 October 2014

One bad thought + left alone for hours + sad music= terrible wreck of a girl. My true story right now. It's not something i want, it's not conscious it just happens. I tend to overthink things, negatively or positively, either way it never ends well. I either want or wish for something so bad i create scenes of it happening in my head. And then it doesn't happen. Doesn't even come close to happening and im bummed. Or i wonder why someone did something in particular. I don't get an answer and i start to give numerous possible and sometimes impossible reasons till im in doubt and scared or hurt even... I hate this trait and i feel ive failed as a good lovable human (again) but possessing this quality. Physically it hurts. Heart beats too fast, head hurts, keep sighing and i appear frustrated( much like i do right now)... This is my therapy.. When i have no friends to talk to and the one person i wish i could is most likely mad at me for even harboring thoughts like this..