I should have listened to music instead.

Or written

Sang, read a book anything else but react.

How do you know when to react or not? Apparently there is a way the world expects you to be. You are to live tailored to suit this pre-designed coat and there is barely room for breathing or squirming. Just do as expected or there are problems you end up having to apologize for eventually.

Do you have a right to determine if you want the coat or not? Of course yes.

But unfortunately you can’t always afford their reactions to your choosing not to wear it. You could end up ostracized, damned by the very ones you love and swear they love you too.

It’s honestly been a while since I have done this. I talk a lot about wanting to post but never really get around to doing it. Well, better Late than never right?

Hey! Been a while. I’m sitting in the school library, I came here with the pretext of studying. Exactly two weeks to exams and studying really is what I should be doing. And yes I tried, and no I am not (obviously). I’ve been studying a lot lately, more than I normally do honestly, however, I can’t seem to wrap my mind around any book right now.

You know what I want more than anything?

For it all to be over.

I don’t mean the sweet release of death,(however appealing its beginning to get) I mean end of exams! Last day of school! Rest day! Good bye and good radiance!!!

I don’t even have grand plans for what I’d do with my 4 months-a-freeman holiday; I just want to be free.

And so I’m here in the library. My dreaded ex before me, a few guys to my right, a movie watching girl beside me  and my newly devirusified laptop before me writing to you about absolutely nothing.

"I don’t want to be loved widely, I want to be loved deeply"

When you care about someone you think for them, about them, and of them. You think ; She must be upset by this. He wouldn’t like this one bit. I’m sure he hasn’t figured it out yet, I should help. I wonder what she’s doing now. Why is she not here? Why is she really not here? Did I upset him? I must have he’s not talking much have I hurt him?

You don’t just say “I’m here for you” you actually ARE THERE without being called. You just know.

You think it’s easy to truly care? Not this half-ass commitment thing people have going on these days, I mean all the way. It’s rare, truly. Infact, I’ve neither seen nor experienced this. Am I blind or not looking hard enough? is it really not there. Are people so desensitized they hardly care for themselves it’ll be dumb to think they’d care for another.

The world is so big so round and so full of both important and unnecessary ‘crap’. You can live life not knowing the difference between these two and paying award-winning attention to ‘crap’.  The real things that matter, love, family, friends and most importantly, God, you ignore or merely brush. You think so long as no one is dead or dying from your absence or complaining about being starved of care everything is super. Just because no one is complaining about how you treat them doesn’t mean you are treating them fine. It could be just that he also doesn’t know how he should actually be treated. He gladly receives that half-baked attention like normality and any extra as a gift. Attention and show of affection is reserved for when you are sick, mourning or celebrating your birthday. God forbid you expect to be treated right on any other day, are you a celebrity?

When you truly honestly care about someone you do your best for them not just in one thing in everything.  You think saying the words “I care about you” is a joke? Think again my friend.

The world would be a better place if people actually did start to care.

Take for example,

I bet we’ve all had to wait for someone. You know that feeling of expectation and sometimes fear of disappointment? It’s not a pleasant feeling right? Yeah.

Why not think of that the next time you make another person wait. If it was bad for you why make someone else go through it?

Be the person that makes a difference.

You love it when you’re home and your brother or father comes home but not empty handed. Ready-made treats, however little, make you happy to see them. Why not reciprocate? Stop coming home empty handed. Don’t you care that you be the reason a person smiles even for one minute in a day?

(Something just happened. I’d just go and cry now, I’d finish up this post later okay? Okay)