9:57pm
Been a while I posted. I never stopped writing though… they
have just been too intense to be posted here.
Hello old friend, missed me?
Haha. Sigh
So! it’s 2017! Not sure why but I really don’t like the
number. I know 7 is a great number being acquainted with numerology and all but
of all numbers 17 is my least favourite.
And yes I have favourite numbers J 9, 3, and 1.
I believe this is the part where I write my new year’s
resolution and promise a new me and other ridiculously mundane and, although
easy, never achieved goals. Well here goes:
This year I promise to get in touch with Me. The real ME,
not the fake MEs I have created for different scenes, situations and circles. The
real ME. Not the one I think people expect, not the one I have to be, and not
the one the world keeps telling me I am.
The real me.
Like an onion, I need to peel off these coats to discover
what lies beneath. Something tells me I’m in for a surprise.
How do I plan to achieve this you ask? Simple yet not so
simple
Reduce technology.
I’ve figured in more ways, than one, these contraptions that
have become a natural part of my day to day hour to hour life, have done me
more harm than good.
In solitude, I sit and think of the nights I started
writing. I remember burning papers and almost setting my head of hair on fire
by nodding on numerous candles (haha story for another time)
I remember that poet, all those unfinished books, those
books I lost, my many journals I treasured and designed, all those letters from
close friends I collected. I remember how natural it all felt to express myself
in this manner.
Then I remember my euphoria at getting a phone. I remember
slowly and gradually being integrated into the vast world of the internet
OH MY GOD ITS RAINING!!!! ITS RAIN IN JANUARY!!! CAN THE
WORLD GET ANYMORE SCREWED UP?!
Don’t get me wrong I love rain, everyone who knows me knows
that, I’m just surprised…
Now where was i… I hope it heralds harmattan tomorrow
morning, I’m itching to wear my harmattan clothes…
Okay for real this time, where were we? Oh yhh, my life
after with technology.
Technology has opened up my mind and erased borders. I’ve been
exposed to a vast accumulation of information. This information if used widely
could be a wonderful in the hands of writer-artistic me. But what do I do
instead? I let it envelop me. I allow myself to be distracted and not just for
a moment, for years. I am well aware of my capacities, I might be in one
position but I have never stopped dreaming. I am aware of the endless
possibilities and what I could rather be achieving in the 16 hours it takes me
to finish a TV series.
Between work and school, what little time I have to be
creative is spent actively trying to ignore people on social media, finding stuff
out, watching videos, learning stuff, not writing, not exploring the physical,
just stuck in one vicious cycle fueled by 1.2 gigabyte of data monthly.
No. If I have my way, not this year. This year, I would try
to be all that I can be.
Yes Sir. This year, I shall start and strive to be more that
I am right now. I shall carve out opportunities to shine and strive to identify
what makes me ME and what changes me.
This year, I find Me.
Good night my dear diary,
Sarah Twinkle
10:29pm
