Started this post with about 10 different sentences. None of which seemed to suit my purpose. Ive had a tremendously painful October but November seems to be looking up. Last month i posted some 'realizations', here are some more : 1) no matter how bad things get (and believe me, they can get REALLY bad), they wouldn't always be that way. Even when it seems all hope is lost and you doubt you'd ever be happy again, just know it wouldn't last forever. A time would come when you'd look back and wonder why you ever worried so much. You'd wish you could go back and tell yourself 'it gets better'. When you're down, pretend That time has come. Look upon every minute of the future as a happy one. One that makes you sing 'my past is over' and every worry gone. Even if you still feel bad, tell yourself you can't believe you ever felt bad and you wouldn't anymore. You just might start to believe yourself. There would be times when you breakdown again and it's like you're back where you began, take heart. You're not pathetic or weak, it's pretty normal. Just know it would only last as long as you let it. Do things that make you happy, pay attention to those friends you've been ignoring, a little sunshine never hurt, eat, live and keep smiling till it comes naturally . 2) STAY AWAY from music that relates to how you feel when you're sad. You enjoy a song when you're happy, when you're sad you understand it's lyrics. I have first hand recent experience and i for one know how great it is to find a song which's lyrics tell your story to the letter. I also know how damaging and unhelpful this is. I created a playlist last month called 'my mood now'. Every song in it told my story and said words i really wished i had guts and opportunity to say. Day in, day out i listened to them I'd sit alone and wallow in grief till the tears came. Or id sing along, think and think some more, constantly reminded of my pain. This continued till i kicked myself in the rump and decided to get my act together. I created another playlist called 'Recovery'. This one had all the words i wished i was strong enough to say, and lyrics i daily tried to act. Im not as bitter anymore. I listen to this playlist when sadness tries to creep in and i feel a whole lot better. I know it's really nice to have someone that understands exactly how you feel even if it's through a song but i advice you to 'stay the hell away' from them. 3) Usually we seek people's advice when we are confused and don't know what to do. We go to people we trust and people we think are experienced and wise. Sometimes we are so desperate we'd settle for just anyone. When we get these opinions we decide to go with the most convincing and common one. Yes it is true no man is an island and these contributions can be quite helpful but, before blindly following, advice yourself. Our judgement would most likely be clouded in times of emotional crisis but adhering to people's opinions cause we are in no suitable position to make them ourselves can be dangerous. Why not pray about it instead? I believe in the holyspirt and i know he leads us when we let him. Ask him to be your advisor and actually listen. Your solution would come and it wouldn't come alone, it'll come with peace of mind. 4) last for now, Never give up on something you really want. It's difficult to wait, but worse to regret. Appreciate what you have right now because you don't always get a second chance. Don't take love for granted. Even if you don't feel the same way, take a minute to sit and think how much it took for the person to give himself/herself to you and appreciate it. Jesus allowed his body to be tortured and torn just for us. This is real love and not acknowledging or respecting it is a shameful sin. In everyday reality, some people give their all and are shunned because they are probably 'not good enough' to the recipient. If you do this, Stop. Tell them you appreciate it but you're sorry you can't return it. Girls who shun guys because 'they get that alot' and vise versa. You don't always have to be rude about it. Don't scar an innocent heart for life because it's not yours.