I finally looked in a calendar few minutes ago and 'discovered' we are already in December. Before I looked, I'd been patiently waiting for December and stubbornly refusing to think of Christmas. Everytime the thought comes that Christmas is near, i cover it up with another thought. Im not very sure why I do this, I have various reasons however. One of them being that I fear this Christmas would be the worst. Another being that I don't want to expect too much from anybody, anything or even 'anyday' anymore. Well enough of the sour thoughts. What I actually wish to write about is something I promised myself to 'build a bridge and get over'. Although the foundation of this bridge is in place, I keep unintentionally knocking it down. When that happens, I have to being the painful process again but thankfully, it hurts less to build this time. I know eventually I would get midway or even complete this bridge, I can't see myself getting over it but i know that's just my eyes blurred by tears. They'd stop pretty soon, I'd rise right after that and I'd gallantly get to the other side. Well would you look at that.. So much for not writing about it -_-